DISCovering Differences in People

Each person may be unique, yet as a whole, we are rather predictable. We have two major defining traits in behavior. First, we are either extroverted or introverted. Second, we are either focused on the task or on people. Examining the possible combinations give us four distinct behavioral styles.

Extroverted Task Focused: These people are quick to make decisions based upon the facts. They willingly take risks. They are comfortable speaking their mind and are generally quite confident that their opinions are correct. They infrequently ask for input and if they do ask questions, closed questions will likely be used to keep dialogs short and to the point. Many people are intimidated by these people, due to their direct and dominant approach. Referred to as ÒDominantÓ communicators, they comprise approximately 18% of the people in the United States.

When interacting with Dominant people, be as organized and prepared as possible. Hit the bottom line quickly and then follow with details only if requested. When asked for your opinion, have one to give. If you are asked for information, give the facts instead of your opinion of the facts. You can expect direct rejection and to be interrupted if you ramble.

Extroverted People Focused: These people are also quick to make decisions. The difference is that they will likely base it on the emotion rather than just the facts. They are very spontaneous and flexible. They easily speak their mind and do so with plurality. Negotiating is a natural skill. They exude people skills and seldom meet a stranger. These people comprise approximately 28% of the population in the United States and are referred to as ÒInfluencing.Ó

When interacting with Influencing people, be prepared to listen because they like to talk. Get them excited about your idea and youÕve got them sold. Follow up important discussions with brief written summaries. Show your personality and enjoy the ease with which the Influencing person involves you in the conversation.

Introverted People Focused: These people are slow to make decisions or embrace change. Their emotions may be masked and they may be hard to read. They avoid confrontation and will seem to go along with the majority or an authority in order to restore harmony. They are not generally comfortable speaking in front of groups. Being an excellent listener, these Steady people are considered as a true friend by many. Forty percent of the population in the United States is Steady.

When interacting with Steady people, ask open questions to get them to open up and talk. Allow them time to adjust to change and refrain from rushing them into a quick decision. Think about what you say before you say it, because the Steady person can easily get hurt.

Introverted Task Focused: These people are also slow to make decisions because they want more information to ensure there is minimum risk or no risk. They are most comfortable when rules are clearly stated and they prefer written processes. They often lack effective social skills, and can be most comfortable working with facts, numbers, and machines rather than people. These Compliant people comprise 14% of the population in the United States.

When interacting with Compliant people, provide correct information to reduce their fear of making a mistake. Be prepared to give details to back up your verbal statements. To increase their speed, help the Compliant person to set deadlines.

What Our Clients Are Saying

ÒI recently attended a going away party for a colleague where I used the things I learned at TLC about ÒNetworking.Ó There were 70-80 people in the large room - and I didnÕt know hardly any of them. With a drink in my left hand, I struck out, covering one section at a time. By the time the party was over, I had met several fascinating people. I felt more satisfaction from the event than any I had been to in a long time.Ó

Edwin Reed, Chattanooga TN

Now Available!

Introversion/Extroversion

An axiom of psychology is that people tend to believe that others perceive the world the same way they do. The truth is often that the other person has a completely different perception, and this leads to confusion and conflict.

How helpful would it be if you could anticipate how other people think, feel, and interpret things? How beneficial would it be to know what is important to them and how they might misunderstand you? Dr. Carl Jung spent a substantial portion of his career investigating human behavior, and he found that perhaps the most important distinction in different psychological types is introversion versus extroversion.

How do you know if you are more introverted or extroverted? How do you determine if others are more introverted or extroverted? Most of us have some elements of both introversion and extroversion, although it is easy to see strong tendencies in many people.

Extroverts are oriented (-verted) toward the outer (extro-) world. Their focus of attention is action, interaction, results, and change. Perception is quickly registered through gut feel and quick observation. They discharge energy externally through body language and movement, where others can observe it.

Introverts are oriented (-verted) toward the inner (intro-) world of ideas, thoughts, imagery, and reflection. Perception is primarily crafted through the detailed lens of thought. Their energy is directed toward inner experience and thought, so they give less outward information about what is important.

Extrovert versus Introvert:

Extroverts observe and decide in the outer world; introverts observe and decide in the inner world. When faced with a new challenge, extroverts get moving fast and work things out as they go. Introverts need more time to process the best method of response or action prior to initiating activity. Extroverts can mistakenly interpret this as resistance, disagreement, or apathy on the part of the Introvert.

Introverts like to think carefully through the details before making a decision, and that usually takes time. They also like to minimize the risk of failure with their decisions. Extroverts like to look at the Òbig pictureÓ and donÕt desire or give as much information when making their decisions. They also tend to make decisions pretty quickly. Extroverts are willing to take higher levels of risk as a natural part of living.

The saying goes, ÒExtroverts talk before thinking; introverts think before talking.Ó One common misunderstanding is that when an extrovert says something, the introvert thinks that it is Òa done deal.Ó Introverts should understand that extroverts tend to talk as they think through various possibilities out loud. When an introvert talks about something, they have already given it thought and are more serious about following through. Extroverts can benefit by understanding this difference and putting a little more weight on what the introvert says.

What relaxes you? If youÕre an introvert, time alone may be wonderful. Introverts prize their privacy and personal space. If youÕre an extrovert, sitting still may make you tense and irritable. Extroverts direct their energy outward, and often like to relax with some type of physical activity.

Both introverts and extroverts often make inaccurate assumptions about what other people are thinking and perceiving. This leads, quite naturally, to misunderstanding. Henry Ford once said that the secret to true communication is Òthe ability to see things from the other fellowÕs angle as well as your own.Ó Understand the key differences between introverts and extroverts. Remember to watch body language and think about behavior to determine how someone else may be more introverted or extroverted than you are. If you can understand him or her better, you can begin to improve the way that you communicate with them.

In the Doghouse

Have you ever been Òin the doghouseÓ? As it is commonly used today, this idiom refers to those times we do or say something to someone that could get us on bad terms with that person. Misunderstandings and failure to adapt to the communication styles of others is one of the major contributors of winding up Òin the doghouse.Ó

So, where did this saying originate? Around the 1400Õs, when the first slave ships came to America, tiny cubicles on the decks of the ships held slaves for the purpose of either breaking their spirits or using them as an example so that other slaves would remain docile. Because of the mentality toward the slaves and the tiny size and unappealing appearance, these rooms were called doghouses. Any action from a slave that caused displeasure would result in that slave being put in the doghouse. Only the person in charge of watching over the slaves could let someone out of the doghouse.

History tells us how far we have come in how we treat people who are different than us. Today, we are still battling differences between races, sexes, ages, religions, heritage, financial statuses, education, and beliefs.

No one enjoys being in the doghouse. Considering that this monthÕs newsletter is about understanding the differences in people, letÕs strive to learn from the mistakes of the past and improve our future. The solution to ignorance is exposure. Staying out of the doghouse can be as easy as 1,2,3.

1. Listen. Before forming opinions, focus on whatÕs shared, then determine whatÕs needed.

2. Ask. Ask questions that lead to solutions. Use ÒwhatÓ and ÒhowÓ questions to get information.

3. Learn. Apply what is being shared to the solutions. Prevent future mistakes by learning from the past.

Office Me vs. Home Me
Vincent Phipps, B.S.

While attending a company social, one of my clients and his wife were discussing how easygoing and laid back the husband is when he is at home. It was humorous observing the facial expressions and body language of his co-workers as they listened, and it was obvious they had a different opinion of him in the office. One of the workers said, ÒI remember James keeping us in a six-hour meeting that he would not end until every decision was final.Ó The wife laughed and replied, ÒReally! He does not even like to pick out his own clothes! As a matter of fact, I dressed him tonight!Ó It was pretty clear that JamesÕ communication style at home is different than his style at the office.

It is important to know how much, if any, we change from our Ôhome modesÕ to our Ôwork modes.Õ By knowing what to expect, we can:

• Predict potential problems.


• Handle our internal conflicts easier.


• Reduce tension in our personal and professional relationships.

Beverly Inman-Ebel Named President of National Organization

Our CEO was named as National President-Elect in Washington D. C. in mid-February for the National Association of Women Business Owners (NAWBO.) Beverly will be inducted in this position in June 2003 at the national convention in Nashville, and will be sworn in as National President in June 2004 in Dallas, Texas. NAWBO has over 80 chapters across the United States.

Also during her recent trip to our nationÕs capital, Beverly participated in a White House briefing; heard numerous senators and representatives discuss the economy, the conflict in the Middle East, and current bills before Congress; and interacted with business leaders, such as Marilyn Carlson Nelson, CEO of Carlson Companies and appointed Chair of the WomenÕs Council on Business.

The Return on Your Investment
Ben Cairns, M.A.

A Sales Manager recently told me, ÒI want TLC training for personal development for our salespeople when we have some extra room in the budget for it.Ó He was thinking of TLC communication training as something that would benefit his salespeople on a personal level, as an ÒextraÓ benefit above and beyond their professional skills. He was also thinking that he needed ÒextraÓ money to justify it.

I asked the Sales Manager if his company does preventive maintenance on their production equipment, and if they occasionally make modifications to upgrade speed and efficiency. He said, ÒYes! We do that to maintain our competitive advantage. ItÕs not just a matter of keeping up, itÕs a matter of being ahead of the pack that gives us our advantage.Ó I then asked him, ÒDoes your company upgrade its computer programs, hardware, and other office equipment?Ó Again he answered, ÒYes, of course we do; itÕs the same as with the plant equipment.Ó I asked him if his company provides product information training to salespeople. ÒIt would be like driving in the fog if we didnÕt do that. We have to. All of the things you have mentioned clearly create ROI (Return On Investment).Ó Investments must create ROI and competitive advantages in our hyper-competitive marketplace. So, itÕs important to find the best places to invest.

Better-adjusted salespeople with superior communication skills sell more. One of our sales clients doubled his annual sales in the last six months of the year, and he credited it to TLC training. Enhanced communication skills also improve personal relationships, personal adjustment, and satisfaction with relationships of all types.

Just as preventive maintenance and upgrades to systems and capital equipment are essential investments for maintaining a competitive advantage, communication training is also an essential investment in your Òhuman capital equipment.Ó The Return On Investment not only justifies training, it mandates it. With lower turnover, improved teamwork, fewer mistakes, fewer misunderstandings, increased sales, and more satisfied customers, the Return On your Investment means that TLC training is money well spent ø in any economy!

CEO Corner: The Drama of Life
Beverly Inman-Ebel, MA CCC-SLP

After doing a role-play or skill practice with clients, many have told me I acted just like the person I portrayed. Occasionally, I get a huge dose of play-acting when I participate in a play at my church. Last month our drama department performed eight original Carol Burnett skits from her popular television series. What fun it was to play the role of Carol in all of her zany characters!

One moment I was a self-absorbed wife, then a shy young woman at a dance, next a worried mother, and then an elderly woman. People wanted to know how I could portray so many characters in such a short period of time. Costumes, wigs, and accents helped, yet the biggest aid was my extensive knowledge in behavioral styles. Each character was a Dominant, Influencing, Steady, or Compliant individual.

Plays are a piece of cake. All you have to do is memorize the lines. You know ahead of time what is coming next. The real challenge is the drama or comedy of life. You still have the characters to deal with and you are on your own. No one tells you what to say or how to move. And you usually donÕt have a clue as to what the other person will say or do next.

In my life, I rely on the same basic knowledge of behavioral styles that got me through the play. When meeting new people, I quickly assess their style by what they say, the way they say it, how they dress, and how they keep their personal or work space. I also listen carefully to understand the meaning behind their words. By listening first, it gives me time to analyze their style. Then, I adapt my style to match theirs.

By listening and adjusting to people we interact with, we will be able to say what Carol Burnett said each time she ended her show: ÒItÕs so nice we had this time together!Ó Understand the differences in people. Appreciate them. Adapt. Live your Dreams!

Ask The Experts

Dear TLC,
I work with a Dr. Jeckle/Mr. Hyde. I never know who is coming to work. Help!
Clueless

Dear Clueless,
When an individual has opposite traits blended together, such as a D/S (Dominant/Steady) or I/C (Influencing/Compliant), that person can seem like two different personalities if the two styles are displayed one at a time. Take your cue from how this person is communicating. If s/he is all business one day, just know you are dealing with the task side of them. If s/he is friendly another time, realize the warm communicator showed up.

Featured Service: D.I.S.C. Profiles

Wondering if you are a D, I, S, or C, or a combination? DISC behavioral profiles are available from TLC and range in price from a QuickDisc that you complete on your own for $10.00, to a booklet that gives you additional information plus a profile that you complete for $15.00, to a full 22-page customized profile with 3 copies for $100.00. Just call 1-888-BECAUSE to order.

All original materials in this newsletter are the copyrighted property of TLC, Talk Listen Communicate, LLC. For reprint information, please e-mail a request to tlc@talklisten.com.

TLC: The choice of those who expect to get results from their training, coaching, and facilitation expenditures.

Send your comments, questions and inquiries to info@talklisten.com

TLC, Talk Listen Communicate, LLC
842 South Germantown Road
Chattanooga, TN 37412-1743
Tel: 1-888-232-2873 or 423-622-TALK (8255)
Fax: 423-624-4365

Free Newsletter | Creating Change | Training | Coaching | Facilitation
Presentations | Retreat | Books and Tapes | Satisfied Clients | Who We Are

Copyright © 2000-2003 TLC, Talk Listen Communicate, LLC. All rights reserved.
Web site created and hosted by <designchemistry>