August 2004
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LOOKING AHEAD: |
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LOOKING BACK: |
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We all live under the same sky, but we don’t all have the same horizon. |
Excellence is not a skill. It is an attitude. |
THE EXCHANGE
This issue's featured subject is
Behavioral Styles
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INSIDE
THIS ISSUE: |
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Negotiate So They Win
Vincent Ivan Phipps, B.S.
When was the last time you had to negotiate? Perhaps it was more recent than you think.
So, whom do we negotiate with? People just like you and me, our bankers, real estate agents, politicians, consultants, mechanics, business owners, and even those nice folks at early Saturday morning yard sales. Yes, all are negotiators.
Almost half of our society dislikes negotiating. Negotiating the price of a lamp at an antique store may produce a different level of anxiety than negotiating the terms and conditions for closing a potentially huge business deal. Some of us negotiate monthly, and some of us do it daily. Let’s look at four major types of negotiators and what can be done to improve negotiations with them.
Dominant Negotiators:
Influencing Negotiators:
Stable Negotiators:
Cautious Negotiators:
To some, an effective negotiation is when a person gets all they can as soon as they can. This form of negotiating may work if you are in a foreign land, want to buy a t-shirt for less than what is asked for it, and you never plan on visiting that place or seeing that person again. In our quickly evolving corporate culture, our revenues are dependent on repeat customers and referrals. It makes sense to end each negotiation with the other side walking away feeling as if they got the better end of the deal. They will be more receptive to our next pitch and will in turn tell others.
People are obviously different. Instead of negotiating with everyone the same way, listen and ask questions to ascertain what type of negotiator they are. When you know, adapt. Negotiate so well that the other side always feels as if they won. If you can do that, then you’ll always win!
“You guys did a great job with our boss. He used to yell and blow up at us, and he hasn’t done that since he took the training several years ago.”
Name and City Witheld
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There are two types of people - those who come into a room and say, “Well, here I am!” and those who come in and say, “Ah, there you are.” |
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Quick Tips: |
Now Available!
Our CEO is Invited to the White House
Last month, our CEO, Beverly Inman-Ebel, was one of 50 small business owners invited to the White House to hear President George W. Bush address economic issues impacting American small businesses.
She reports that she startled the President when she interrupted his presentation with vigorous applause and affirmative comments when he mentioned the need for Association Health Plans. You’ll have to ask her to give you the whole version - she is quite a storyteller! Beverly was also invited by the Clinton Administration to a White House function in 1997.
Don Wheeler is Promoted
TLC’s Office Manager has been promoted to Director of Marketing and Client Relations. He will be responsible for meeting the needs of our clients through sales and customer satisfaction follow-through. We have had so many clients comment on how helpful Don is when they call. We are delighted that he will be using his people skills at this new level.
Managing With Style!
Ben Cairns, M.A.
One of my clients was challenged by an employee who was not reading technical documentation as required, following through on details, or paying attention to the guidance and warnings that had been given. The situation was approaching correction and possibly demotion.
At first glance, it would appear that the employee was flaunting the directions and job duties on purpose. “Why else would she be doing all of this?” the manager asked. The reason was that the manager was a very detailed, task-oriented introvert, and the employee was a spontaneous, people-oriented extrovert. Each person had different expectations about what the job required. Style-based conflict on the job is fairly common. Here are some tips that can help supervisors manage their people better:
Craft the Job to Employee Style
Consider shifting duties among team members based on their behavior style strengths and weaknesses. For example, a people-oriented extrovert might be the one who presents project proposals to other teams, takes the lead on brainstorming, or serves as a team motivator. A task-oriented extrovert might defend the team in meetings when there is a conflict or tough message to deliver. The people-oriented introvert might take on more of the routine or recurring details that bore extroverts. The task-oriented introvert can vet proposals for flaws. When shifting duties, make sure to make it a balanced tradeoff. Otherwise, an unfair distribution of job duties could result.
Complement Strengths and Weaknesses When Building Teams
Each style brings something unique and important to the table. Task-oriented extroverts bring decisiveness, directness, and pragmatism. People-oriented extroverts bring enthusiasm, creativity, motivation, and presentation skills. People-oriented introverts bring stability, harmony and routine. Task-oriented introverts bring critical, analytical thinking, and methods for identifying the most effective solutions.
Delegate
When delegating, it is important to communicate the levels of authority and responsibility that go with the assignment. Assignments must be conveyed with enough detail for successful completion. Each style has a preferred way of receiving an assignment.
Task-oriented extroverts will want to know the results and be given the latitude to get there based on their own ideas and methods. Be sure to let the task-oriented extrovert know which boundaries are “off limits.”
People-oriented extroverts will want to be creative and action-oriented. Be sure to set checkpoints and monitor progress. Neither task-oriented extroverts nor people-oriented extroverts will want a lot of detail or the sense that “someone is looking over their shoulder.”
People-oriented introverts will want details about exactly what is expected and what you want them to do. Give examples and make sure to TripleProbe© them (ask three similar questions) to answer all of their concerns. After you give the assignment, allow them time to digest what you have said and a later chance to ask follow-up questions.
Task-oriented introverts will want to know detailed information about the outcome and expectations regarding the quality of the end-result. Make sure to set deadlines. Remember that the task-oriented introvert will have a higher standard for what is acceptable, so they may want to spend longer on an assignment than is necessary.
Evaluate Performance
The natural weaknesses of the styles can become points of conflict if not managed proactively. The weakness of task-oriented extroverts is people skills, so coach them in a way that helps them to be more empathetic for how people-oriented and detail-oriented people will react to their method of communicating.
The people-oriented extroverts’ natural weakness in dealing with details and follow-through necessitate an emphasis on being organized, having a “to do” list, and a calendar for managing obligations. They may need to “stop and think” before acting or speaking.
The people-oriented introverts’ natural aversion for conflict and being in the spotlight can lead to their being silent in meetings or when there is friction. Draw the people-oriented introverts out and make sure they understand the importance of their contribution to the team. Give examples of what types of things you expect them to say and share.
The inflexibility of the task-oriented introvert when the need for spontaneity or trying new ways of doing things can be improved by emphasizing that this is what is expected in their jobs. Give specific examples and provide a logical explanation of how that can contribute to acceptable results. Task-oriented introverts tend to follow the rules, so set the expectations up front.
Managing with style can be accomplished at many levels. The manager that I wrote about at the beginning of this article was able to coach his employee to improve job performance by motivating her to see the details and reading as part of the team effort. He was able to “sell” her on shifting gears when necessary.
Remember to pay attention to the behavior styles of the people who report to you in order to get better results and manage with style!
Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. |
When was the last time you “woke up on the wrong side of the bed” or ran into someone who “woke up on the wrong side of the bed?” This commonly used expression means to have a bad attitude or be in a nasty mood. What does getting out of bed on one side or the other have to do with our moods?
“Getting up on the wrong side of the bed” originated with the ancient Romans. Part of early Roman culture was a strong belief in superstitions. One of these beliefs was that it was unlucky to wake up on the left side of the bed. In Latin, the word “left” means “sinister” (bad or evil). If you got out of bed on the right side, it was considered lucky and good. If a person experienced misfortune, it was said that person woke up on the left, or wrong side, of the bed.
When we encounter people who woke up on the wrong side of the bed, we are quick to label them as anti-social or just plain mean. In many cases, our own attitudes play key roles. We know that 32% of our population is task-focused, meaning they are less concerned with feelings and relationships than the other 68% of the population. Task-focused communicators are primarily focused on the job at-hand, results, and accomplishments. There is a 33.33% chance that you will encounter a task-oriented communicator daily. When you do, remember:
You will increase your ability to effectively adapt to more people, regardless of which side of the bed you woke up on!
Does the grass often look greener on the other side? Do you find yourself admiring people who have talents or traits that you lack? If so, that’s normal. That is how we tend to pick our life partners. We find someone different and then spend the rest of our lives striving to change them to be more like us.
At work, as much as we would like other people to change to adapt to our needs, often we are the ones who rearrange our habits and traits so that we fit in. The first question to ask yourself is whether the change will benefit the productivity and effectiveness of your work. If the answer is yes, then proceed with care. Here are some adjustments you can make depending upon the behavior that the job requires:
Decisions. If the job requires you to make decisions faster than you are comfortable with, set time limits during which you can think it over. The time limit may be ten minutes, four hours, or three days. Make the best decision possible when the time is up.
Team Player. If you need to be seen as more of a team player, ask open questions, especially ones that start with ‘how’ or ‘what’. Be sure to listen to the complete answer without interrupting.
Organization. Make a practice to leave your work area neat before you leave each day. On Friday, spend twenty to thirty minutes planning the next work week. Tell yourself, “OHIO” Only Handle It Once, and be able to throw things away.
Succinctness. Before you begin to give all the details that you may think are necessary, ask yourself, “So, what is the point?” Keep asking that question until you have reached the end of the answers. The last answer will most likely be the bottom line that executives want.
Friendliness. It is not enough to respond with a smile or eye contact; to be viewed as friendly, you need to initiate the gestures. Make a point of being the first one to greet, smile, wave, or begin the social interaction. If you are on the run, keep moving as you spread some cheer.
Firmness. New managers are often faced with being uncomfortable with saying no. Give your answer and include a brief explanation based upon specific information, rather than generalities or emotion. Open up your personal space and look others in the eye. Ask for questions.
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Remember to... |
People are pretty much alike. It’s only that our differences are more susceptible to definition than our similarities. |
CEO Corner: "Releasing the Ducks"
Beverly Inman-Ebel, MA CCC-SLP
I have confessed many times to our clients that I am an extrovert who has almost equal focus on task and people. I usually try to use my people skills and sell my ideas. When that doesn’t work, I become task-driven and strive to control the situation. My combined dominance and influencing skills have one thing is common: speed. I like action and am rather impatient.
Each spring, my family raises ducklings and then releases them to the wild in early summer at Spring Creek Retreat. We move the ducks from our home to Spring Creek by placing them in a pen that is transferred by truck. I have decided that ducks are basically introverted animals focused on being social within their communities. At TLC, we would label them “High ‘S’”. A “High ‘S’” typically does not like change. So you can imagine that after a thrilling ride in the back of a pickup truck, cooped up with no food or water, the ducks are a little reluctant when they arrive at Spring Creek.
Thus, last year they decided to stay inside the pen rather than explore their new environment. I got impatient after about twenty minutes. After all, they had this new and beautiful place to live with a fifty-foot wide creek to swim in. I wanted them to start enjoying it now. So, I removed the top of the pen by unscrewing the hinges. When my husband and I lifted the top off, it startled the ducks so badly that they flew off, fearing for their very lives, and we never saw them again. The corn feeder for the ducks sat unused all year.
This year, I realized that I needed to be more patient. We brought the ducks out on a Friday night and left them by the creek with the pen closed. The next morning, we placed food just outside of the door, which we opened wide. Nothing. For three hours not one duck dared to stick his head out of the pen. I started to walk behind the pen. All I had to do was bump it and they would scatter out. “No,” I told myself. “Remember last year. Be patient.”
I realized, with humor, that I was going nuts about these ducks staying in their pen. Didn’t they understand the plan? I was afraid they would dehydrate while the cool creek was just outside their pen. As much as I wanted to be an “S” and just wait it out, I wanted more to get those ducks out of the pen. I compromised. I brought a large bowl of water and placed it just beyond their reach from the pen.
Within three minutes, the first brave (or most thirsty) duck stepped out of the pen to gulp the water. Within another two minutes, all six of them were taking their share of the cool liquid. They began to nibble on the grass and green leaves within their reach. The corn feeder was just to their right. It was ignored. Being my non-patient self, I threw kernels of corn on the ground to lead a trail to the corn feeder to no avail.
I finally gave up after declaring ducks to be the most timid animals God created. “A sitting duck” had clear meaning for me at last. Four hours later, with progress measured in mere inches, one of the ducks fell into the creek and immediately made his exit amid much squawking and wing flapping.
By evening, all of the ducks had experienced the creek and practiced swimming underwater and making short virgin flights. As I watched, perched upon the deck above, I smiled proud as a mother hen. I also smiled at myself for the tremendous effort it had taken me to exhibit some degree of patience. Some things cannot be rushed.
What about you? What part of your behavioral style gets in your way at times? Set a goal to practice getting stronger in your area of weakness. I hope you will find yourself smiling at the end of the exercise. Plan. Practice. Release. Live your dreams.
Dear TLC,
I have some interviews to do next week, and am wondering how I can figure out behavior styles when people are interviewing for jobs.
Confused in Charlotte
Dear Confused,
Questions that often reveal hints about behavior style include:
Remember that people can adapt in the workplace to a variety of challenges. Behavior style is only part of the evaluation for future job success!
Featured Service: Plan Your Fall Retreat Now!!
Summer is quickly passing. Children are back in school. That usually means the majority of your people are not on vacation! Autumn is a perfect time for training and getting your team away to plan ahead for the coming year. We recommend Spring Creek Retreat as an ideal location for small groups. Check our web site www.talklisten.com/retreat to see for yourself how you can get your team away to get them together.
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TLC establishes long-term relationships with our clients. If we have helped you or if you believe our approach to change would work for someone you know, please communicate with us by e-mail tlc@talklisten.com or phone 1-888-232-2873. We work with individuals and groups on the following subject areas: attitude, listening, body language, voice, leadership, compliments and corrections, behavioral style, teamwork, effective meetings, public speaking, accent reduction and much more!. |
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