Attend a Meeting and Build Community

If we define "community"as a group having common interests, then meetings are wonderful opportunities to build rapport and expand your community. As you prepare for any meeting that you attend, remember to look for ways that you can create community for someone else who is there as well as yourself.

Just how is this accomplished? It depends upon the size and purpose of the meeting. For instance, at a large function with several hundred people, business cards are the usual method of defining who you are and what you do. Ask for two instead of just one. Start a conversation to find out what this person wants or needs to be more successful or fulfilled. Then on one of the cards, write down a need this person has and place that card in a separate pocket. As you work the room, you may talk to someone who can fulfill the need of a person you had an earlier conversation with. Bring them together or write your name on the back of the second business card and give it to the person who can meet the need. This way you have helped three people.

In smaller meetings, listen for what people say. If you know of someone or something that can help, have a quick conversation as soon as the meeting is over. In regularly scheduled meetings, keep brief notes to help you track how you can be helpful to various people.

There is an old saying that there is no "I" in "team." There is, however, a "me"in "meetings." Do not simply observe, rather, get yourself involved in your next meeting. The purpose is not to brown-nose; the purpose is to find common interests and to build upon that bond. The common interest can be between you and someone else or two different people that you know. Be a connector of people.

What Our Clients Are Saying

"What you guys teach has value beyond belief. I am living proof of what you can become. I have found it to be eye-opening. It has also helped my personal life."

Rodney Lee, Atlanta GA

Now Available!

TLC Governing Values

Confidentiality:  We respect clients' privacy by obtaining permission before disclosing information.

Exceed client satisfaction:  We work with clients into, through and beyond challenges.

Fairness:  We celebrate our differences by treating each person fairly.

Family oriented:  Behind every individual there is a family worthy of consideration.

Fun:  Our environment reflects the enjoyment of the work, people and celebrations of our lives.

Honesty:  Because the truth can hurt, we deliver it with care.

Industrious drive:  Some say "no", We say "now!"

Innovation/Creativity:  We color outside the lines.

Motivate/Encourage:  We treat people as if they are what they ought to be, and help them become what they are capable of being.

Positive attitude:  Attitude is contagious.  Ours is worth catching!

Positive public image:  We believe that first impressions count and leave an indelible impact.

Profitability:  We receive sufficient funds to cover all financial needs and rewards for accomplishments.

Quality:  We are constantly in pursuit of achieving excellence.

Responsibility:  We fulfill our commitments.

Self improvement:  Start with part of you, end with all of you.

Teamwork:  "All for one, one for all."

Collaborating with the Enemy
Ben Cairns, M.A.

Collaborating with the enemy is a major crime in the military. Yet, in diplomacy we engage the enemy through dialogue, and it sometimes benefits both parties. In business, the current mindset is often that the enemies are our competitors. The prevailing attitude is that getting to know or working with your competitors is akin to collaborating with the enemy, almost a crime.

The Chinese have a saying: "Hold your friends close. Hold your enemies closer." The idea is that a known enemy is less dangerous than an unknown enemy. There are actually several reasons why it is a good idea to know, and even collaborate with, your competitors.

Several years ago, I directed a wellness program for an organization with almost 400 employees. The other part of my job was selling and implementing similar wellness programs for businesses and industries. I had a competitor who was aggressively selling to the same customers. When I called her and asked her to meet with me, there was a stunned silence on the phone. "Why are you even talking to me?" she gasped. I replied, "I want to see how we might be able to help each other."

We met. Incredible as it might seem, we determined that while our respective organizations had some overlap, we were essentially targeting different "ideal" customers. We also realized that at full capacity, neither of us separately or together could serve the entire need for the pool of available customers. In the end, we traded leads for each other's ideal potential customers, and we both improved our sales closures. Knowing more about how the other program was structured helped me to improve and differentiate my services. My competitor also learned and differentiated from my services. Our customers benefited.

Collaborating with the enemy? Your integrity determines what can happen. With high integrity, there is no advantage "taken" over the other. Of course, you never reveal your business or trade secrets. Deal with competitors with the skill of a diplomat. The way that you treat people will always come back around to you in some way. If you change your mindset from battle lines to boardrooms, "collaborating with the enemy" takes on new meaning.

It's amazing. I get leads from people in my industry ... from my competitors! What benefits can you develop from knowing and collaborating with your competitors when you do not treat them like the enemy? You might find that idea worth holding closer than ever.

Building a Stronger Family

Zig Ziglar reports that within the first sixteen years the average child hears "no" 148,000 times. A study by the University of Minnesota revealed that for every positive comment, we hear 23 negative ones. Who is sending all these negative messages? If we're going to be honest, we'll admit that we are.

At TLC, we work primarily with middle and upper managers. Each manager has a precious family at home. When the home front is filled with stress, that manager brings the negative emotion to work. Therefore, we strive to work with the whole person, helping him or her to effectively communicate with those most dear.

Many messages can quite simply be turned around 180 degrees. Instead of saying, "Don't run," we can choose to say, "Walk." In lieu of "Quit sassing your mother," we can say, "Show respect." "I need to be understood" will get you further than, "You never listen."

Before the unwanted words fall out of your mouth, prepare yourself. In your daily planner, decide what positive action you will take for each family member. Schedule it as you would any business appointment.

Each morning, affirm that you are a positive influence. Spend a little quiet time getting your thoughts centered on your goals. When you spend a few minutes to positively plan, you'll find you're less reactive throughout the day.

On the way home from work, settle any troubling thoughts. Take a few minutes. Breathe in deeply and exhale slowly. Think about possible trouble scenarios that might occur when you walk in the door and plan how you can handle them.

Building "community"at home allows you to be happier and more productive at work. Construct it now and watch it strengthen with time.

Give the Shirt Off Your Back

"It takes a village to raise a child." This popular saying dates back to ancient Swahili African tribes. The word "alone" does not exist in their language. Considering that each person was responsible for everyone else, it became common practice for parents to nurture, feed, and even clothe other people's children.

As these customs spanned across the ocean, this practice of giving became a method of building stronger communities. Today, when we say, "He's so nice, he would give a stranger the shirt off of his back" we are referring to an act of kindness. To literally give someone the clothes you are wearing is an act of love and generosity that is beyond measure. Remember that giving someone the "shirt off your back" is an excellent way of making your community stronger.

Whether or not you believe that one person can change the world, believe that one person can change him/her self. When we change ourselves, we change the way we can see the world. When we change the way we see the world, we can change the way we see the people in it.

In the month we nationally dedicate to love, find a way to give back to your community by "giving the shirt off your back".

Give the Gift of Giving

My father has always been more of a man of action than words. Instead of telling me to help others, he consistently led by example by showing me.

I remember specifically as a child riding in the car with my father one Saturday afternoon. He pulled into the parking lot of a shelter for the homeless. He asked me to remain in the car. As I looked through the windshield, I could see my father handing the man behind the counter an envelope, talking briefly, and then walking away. Surprisingly, the man behind the counter was reluctant to take the envelope. My father insisted, left the envelope, and calmly strolled out.

After re-entering the car, we drove off as if nothing happened. Perhaps because of my young age at the time, I had forgotten about that day. It was not until about a year ago that day of my childhood made sense to me. I was doing a charity speech for senior citizens. The director of the program commented on how much I looked like a man he and his staff had labeled the "Phantom Giver."

My curiosity got the better of me and I asked them more about the "Phantom Giver." The director told me for as long as he had been working in the community, every year a mysterious, unidentified man would enter one of their various shelters and hand an attendant an envelope with a donation. The director said it was normal for people to make donations and contributions. The names of contributors were collected so they could be added to a "thank you" mailing list. Also, some contributors wanted receipts to receive tax credits later. But this man would never give his name or purpose. Year after year, he'd show up without warning and would just say, "This is for your shelter. Good bye." And then he'd just walk away. Remembering that day when I witnessed my father enter and leave that building, I just smiled when the director asked me, "Isn't that the craziest thing?"

Instead of asking others to make the community better, we must start by making ourselves better. Communities are built on individuals doing all they can to make the lives of the people around them better. The community is watching even when you think they are not. Community builders are not always the loudest, the most dynamic, or those who have the most money or most power. They are everyday people making positive differences everyday. Community builders are people like you.

CEO Corner: "Who Do You Know Who...?"
Beverly Inman-Ebel, MA CCC-SLP

Every time I speak, attend a meeting, or meet someone in another town, I am striving to expand my community. My goal is to get to know a new person, listen to their stories, and connect them to someone else I know that I think would compliment their journey through life. I have connected publishers with budding authors, CPA's with new businesses, non-profit organizations with foundations, and the media with sources for a lead story. While this started out as part of my personal mission plan, it has come full circle to meeting my professional and career plan.

I met a dynamic woman in Washington, D.C. that has since coached my Office Manager on marketing our retreat. A writer in Chicago mentioned a friend who is a successful speaker. That person coached me on how to build my speaking business. An individual in San Antonio introduced me to a travel agent in St. Louis and she is currently planning Spring Break for my family.

I started thinking of all the people in my community and began counting the locations. There are at least 92 different cities where there is someone that I can call to help me out or put me up and this does not include family. I have been actively working on building my community for over five years. Once the construction begins, the results multiply quickly.

What about you and your community? Who do you know who...needs something...or has something to offer? By building your community, you actually shrink your world. A smaller world is a friendlier place. When you are more comfortable, your confidence increases. With added confidence, you take more chances and opportunities open up. Build your community. Live your dreams.

TLC Goes International

Welcome back Ben and Vincent from London, England!  Ben Cairns and Vincent Phipps returned from London (specifically, Malvern, Worcester) on Feb. 2nd. The dynamic duo left Chattanooga on Jan. 25th via British Airways and arrived at their destination about 10 hours later.

After returning to Chattanooga, Ben had this to say about his trip: "Training in England was wonderful and confirmed something that I already knew; the fundamentals of communication are universal despite accent, nuances, or idioms."

Vincent talked about the differences in language by stating, "The workshop participants in the U.K. were very patient with my butchering of the "Queen's English" because of my Tennessee accent. Each person was friendly, intelligent, and had a willingness to make themselves better."

We are all glad to have you home. Congratulations on such a successful trip!

Ask The Experts

Dear TLC,
I attended a class last year that Beverly taught. At my company, our manager will ask the supervisors to take information back to our respective crews. The problem is that we each heard, or thought that we heard, a different message.
Clueless Crews

Dear Clueless,
It will help for the manager to give talking points in writing. Make sure that the supervisors are asking questions to get clarification. The manager giving specific examples and allowing the supervisors to practice giving the news to each other can also prevent miscommunication.

Featured Service: Success is a Decision of the Mind

Beverly's latest book, Success Is A Decision of the Mind, is now in stock at TLC and at bookstores. Please email TLC tlc@talklisten.com or call us at 888-BECAUSE (232-2873) to get your autographed copy. Hardback only. $24.95 plus shipping.

All original materials in this newsletter are the copyrighted property of TLC, Talk Listen Communicate, LLC. For reprint information, please e-mail a request to tlc@talklisten.com.

TLC: The choice of those who expect to get results from their training, coaching, and facilitation expenditures.

Send your comments, questions and inquiries to info@talklisten.com

TLC, Talk Listen Communicate, LLC
842 South Germantown Road
Chattanooga, TN 37412-1743
Tel: 1-888-232-2873 or 423-622-TALK (8255)
Fax: 423-624-4365

Free Newsletter | Creating Change | Training | Coaching | Facilitation
Presentations | Retreat | Books and Tapes | Satisfied Clients | Who We Are

Copyright © 2000-2004 TLC, Talk Listen Communicate, LLC. All rights reserved.
Web site created and hosted by <designchemistry>