Presence

Education, experience, skill set, and connections certainly help to get you to the top. If the lofty perch still eludes you, it may be for a lack of ‘presence.’ Just what constitutes presence?

Presence is the manifestation of confidence portrayed through positive attitude, body language, voice, and word choice. A portion of the population seems to naturally exude these traits. Lucky for them! Lucky for the rest of us, we can develop these skills.

To improve attitude, begin each morning with affirmations such as: “I have confidence!”, “I always find the right words at the right time!”, or, “I own any space that I occupy!” Visualize success and be sure to include as many senses in your daydream as possible. Smell, see, hear, taste, and feel success!

Watch how people with presence look comfortable wherever they are. Notice that they take up maximum space, leaning back in a chair, arms and hands apart, eyes alert with tone to their facial muscles. Get in front of a mirror and practice. Of course you may feel silly at first. Sit or stand using your normal posture and then gradually open it up holding your head level.

People with presence use adequate volume when they speak. To increase the seriousness of their message, they use downward vocal pitch inflections on key words such as verbs and adjectives. Pauses are injected comfortably to add depth to their responses. They do not feel the need to fill every moment with talk or sound.

People with presence choose strong words versus weak or general terms. The words are measurable. Instead of saying, “We need to increase participation,” their comment will likely be, “A 20% increase of participation is necessary.” Words like, “kinda,” “sort of,” and “maybe” are absent from the mouths of people with presence.

Creating presence doesn’t just happen. Overcoming obstacles is an effective way to attain this level of confidence. If the victory was too easy, the resulting feeling may be one of conceit or arrogance. Only a person who has gone through a trial knows the sense of internal pride. For this reason, overcoming failure builds presence. Measure yourself today to the ‘you’ of yesterday or last year, rather than comparing yourself with someone else who may not have had the same obstacles or opportunities.

Many people try to buy presence by wearing expensive clothes and driving luxury vehicles. Presence is not for sale, it is accomplished through careful attention to detail and perseverance. If it was easy, everyone would have it.

So, is presence for you? If you have the desire, know what you need to correct, and have someone to give you feedback, you are well on your way. Begin now. There is no time like the present for presence.

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In The News

Beverly Inman-Ebel Sworn in as National President of NAWBO

Our CEO, Beverly Inman-Ebel, was recently sworn in as president of NAWBO (National Association of Women Business Owners). NAWBO is a national organization with eighty-three chapters across the United States as well as members at large. Beverly served the local Chattanooga chapter as President from 1995-1997 and has spent the last three years serving on the National Board of Directors as Vice-President of Member Services and then as President-Elect. Beverly’s one-year term as president of NAWBO will take her across America. NAWBO propels women entrepreneurs into economic, social and political spheres of power worldwide. Congratulations, Beverly!


TLC Featured in Chattanooga Magazine

The summer edition of Chattanooga magazine features an article entitled, “Playing on Words,” that focuses on TLC, and our CEO, Beverly Inman-Ebel. Chattanooga magazine is a quarterly publication and is available at Barnes & Noble bookstore at Hamilton Place Mall.

You Know "It" When You Get It
Ben Cairns, M.A.

You most likely don’t notice it as often as you should, even though what you get is not as good as it should be. Although you might complain when it is poor or absent, you might be like most people who do not want to have a conflict about it. You might not pay as much attention to it as you should, even though there is a high likelihood that it is an important part of your job. One thing is certain; you definitely know when it is excellent. So, what is “it”? Follow-through.

Follow-through is an integral part of any business relationship. No matter what your occupation is, relationships are very likely to play a key role in how successful you are. For your performance to be “world class,” it is imperative to have effective follow-through. How can you bump your follow-through effectiveness up to the next level? Consider some of these recommendations from seasoned veterans:

Know something about the other person. Knowing about hobbies, interests, or other idiosyncrasies personalizes them to you so that he/she is a real person and not a faceless “customer” or “client.” You have to care for the other person to make follow-through real.

Put yourself into the other person’s mind. What do they want? How much contact, emotion, detail? How much casual talk do they need before they feel comfortable moving into business? What is likely to satisfy their needs, make them look good, help them to do a better job, or simplify things? When you know what is desirable from their perspective, you know what you need to do to give the best results.

Practice effective time management. Be more effective and timely by planning each day and week as well as in the “big picture.” Schedule follow-through activities. Review your results as a natural part of your routine and continue to make reasonable improvements.

Keep track of what needs to be done on a calendar. Effective planning is the first step, the “what” you are going to do. Scheduling is the next step, the “when” you are going to do it. Use one calendar to schedule calls, visits, service, cards, …etc. Keep up with your schedule and treat it seriously. Your results depend on it!

Be sensitive to how others react. Watch body language and listen carefully to his/her voice to get information about how happy they are with you and what is happening. Watch their timing, actions, and reactions. You might even ask “What else can I do to do a better job?”

Is “it” an important part of your job? Do you think they’ll notice it? Is it as good as it should be? Is it excellent? “Follow through” on our advice so that you can improve your follow-through in business. In today’s competitive economy, relationships can quickly destroy or advance a career. If you don’t have good follow-through, you’re through. If you have excellent follow-through, you can hit the ball right out of the park!

The Three UPs of Self-Marketing
Vincent Ivan Phipps, B.S.

I recently saw a billboard that had an all white background with only big, block, black letters that read, “Without advertising, a terrible thing happens…nothing.” So, what is the best way to get people’s attention when it comes to selling yourself? Simply use the three UPs of selling yourself.

1. Show UP. Showing up is the primary area of demonstrating your credibility to ensure you get others to give you a chance. Arrive early to scheduled appointments. Be the first one at meetings. Turn in projects before the due date. As a result, you will become a master of time-management (which is really a master of self-management.) Others will see you as focused and punctual.

Take an extra step to show up with information that only you have. Do research, ask around, and experiment. Think of ideas to offer or intriguing questions to ask that will get the team closer to the goal. You’ll be seen as an invaluable member of the team.

2. Stand UP. Take initiative. Fight for what is right, not for what is popular. Although there are exceptions, follow the rules and guidelines as they are set. If a ruling is an injustice, state the reasons as you see them and offer alternatives. Also, stand up for what you know. If a conversation goes against what you know to be true, share the knowledge you have. Even though this may not change an outcome, feel confident knowing that a decision was made based on examination of all factors and information. You’ll be seen as a leader who strives to do what is best for the team.

Be sure to maintain good posture by keeping your head erect, shoulders back, and back straight. In addition to increasing blood flow to vital organs and getting more oxygen to the brain, you’ll look more confident and relaxed. People will pay more attention to you. Conversely, slouching can send the message, “What I’m saying is not important.” Standing up straight says, “I am somebody with something important to say, so listen up!”

3. Speak UP. This does not mean to yell! Rather, speak in a volume loud enough to prevent anyone from saying, “Huh? What was that? Why are you mumbling?” Say your words clearly and with distinction. In formal settings, use appropriate grammar and avoid slang. You will be seen as knowledgeable and credible.

Finally, be sure to keep your vocal tone and rate in check. When you are angry or experiencing any strong emotion, it is normal to talk faster and louder. To the listener, this shows lack of control. When you are experiencing extreme emotion, you are more likely to say or do something that could negatively affect your credibility. Be sure to talk slower, lower your tone, and use more bass in your voice.

Every encounter is a selling opportunity. Be your own waking billboard by using the three UPs of selling yourself!

Toot Your Own Horn

What one person considers cocky, the other may view as confidence. People who “toot their own horns” may be accused of being arrogant, but they may consider themselves as simply being self-assured.

In the early Roman era, the well-to-do were requested to submit information about themselves prior to attending high-society gatherings. This information included their lineage, heirs, etc… and was given to a door guardsman holding a large horn. Upon the arrival of a noble, the guard would blow the horn loudly to get everyone’s attention and would then announce the noble and read the promoting information. Those who didn’t yet have any prestigious accolades had to tell about their success in more creative ways or had to toot their own horn.

So how do you toot your own horn today without looking like a braggart? Here are some quick tips on tactfully “tooting your own horn.”

Instead of saying, “I’m the best at that,” say, “I feel comfortable taking the lead on this project because I co-designed the last two and although it is new to the team, I have three years experience in this area.”

Rather than use words like, “smarter,” “better,” or “great,” use words that give indisputable information such as degrees, honors, certifications, skills, success rates, and percentages.

Instead of appearing like a “know-it-all” by answering every question as if it is trivial, ask open questions about things you’ve already thought about. After carefully listening, add your input.

For additional information on how to tactfully “toot your own horn,” contact us at www.talklisten.com or 1-888-BECAUSE. We could “toot our horn” by saying, “We are the best ever because we wrote the book on communication!” But instead, we’ll follow the previous suggestions and say, "For 23 years, TLC has practiced and promoted permanent and positive change in interpersonal communication. Our CEO has authored three books on the importance of people skills including, Talk Is NOT Cheap!, Success is a Decision of the Mind, and Real World Communication Strategies that Work.” Toot-toot!

Give Before You Ask
Don Wheeler

There is an endless plethora of selling techniques out there. Books written over the last 50 years on this subject have used key words and phrases like: “ethics,” “service,” “relationships,” “hard work,” “doing the best job possible,” and “loyalty to the company.” These concepts are intended to help build relationships or friendships with your customers and to keep them coming back.

Today, this is commonly referred to as “Relationship Selling.” It costs more than five times as much to get a new customer as it does to keep an existing one. (See the article, “Customer Service,” in the May 2004 issue of The Exchange.) Therein lies the value in building relationships with your customers and turning them into repeat buyers and spokespeople for your company.

Building relationships with your prospects and identifying their needs is what this approach is all about. This takes time. Be sure to listen, show them you care, and earn their trust. Then, you are on the road to making them customers.

Building the relationship is not only a successful way of selling; it encourages new friendships and is low pressure. To take this approach a step further, here are some tips to help put you over the top:

• Listen.



• Offer solutions/suggestions/ideas.



• Provide service.



• Make deposits (see the book, Talk Is Not Cheap!, Chapter 2).



• Be friendly.



• Strive to exceed their needs.



• Connect them with other business associates who may be useful to them.

CEO Corner: "Selling is not Telling"
Beverly Inman-Ebel, MA CCC-SLP

I have interviewed many people who want to work for TLC as long as their potential job is presenting and coaching, not selling. They claim they lack the skill set and experience for sales. My premise is that if someone cannot sell, they cannot present. The first sale is selling yourself.

In my position of being the president of a national business organization, I have the opportunity to meet thousands of people across the country who, unfortunately, do not do an adequate job of selling themselves. I cast them into two categories: the overly modest, and the vain. I can help the first more than I can the latter.

At a recent national meeting, there were four awards given to people who had achieved great success. The first three gave an inspiring acceptance speech. It was short and focused on the help received along the way. Each received a standing ovation. The fourth recipient talked for at least fifteen minutes before the Mistress of Ceremonies stood up to signal that the time for speaking had lapsed. The award winner announced that she was not finished and continued to hog the microphone for another intolerable ten minutes. She received only polite applause, most likely prompted by the audience’s relief that the monologue was finally over.

People who insist upon telling you the details of their success with the focus on “me” are just as insecure as those that are modest – perhaps more so. When you tell someone the square footage of your home, or how much money you make, you aren’t selling yourself, you are telling on yourself.

The best way to sell yourself is to ask questions about the other person. Get them talking about their favorite subject: themselves! You will get credit for being a good listener and a great conversationalist. When they are interested enough, they will, in turn, ask about you. Now you can tell, but only after the sell. “Sell” can be an acronym for “Standing/sitting eagerly listening & learning.

The beauty of this process is that it works well for the modest people as well. Selling yourself is not like the people standing in the middle of the crowd during a festival striving to get your attention. Rather, it is you striving to give attention to another and then responding with information about yourself or your company.

It is important to be prepared for the telling portion of the process. I encourage people to have one-line “infomercials” that capture the interest of the person they are speaking to. For instance, when people ask what we do at TLC, I reply, “We change lives - permanently and positively.” For Spring Creek I say, “It’s the place to get your group away to get them together.”

So sell yourself by listening first. Ask. Listen. Tell. Live your dreams!

Ask The Experts

Dear TLC,

I recently was passed over for a promotion that I felt I was extremely qualified for. When I asked why, I was told that I did not do an adequate job of convincing the decision makers that I could handle the job. If they had read my resume they would have known I could handle anything!

Bummed


Dear Bummed,
Resumes are important because they often are the invitation to the personal interview. At the interview, it is imperative to sell yourself by demonstrating confidence through the manner in which you answer the questions. Take up maximum space with your posture, maintain eye contact, be comfortable with pauses, and be sure to answer the question. It will also be helpful to get feedback from others whom you admire.

Featured Service: Executive Coaching

Summer is a great time for individual coaching. While others are dreaming of being on the golf course, you can increase your skills as a leader. The TLC process is to evaluate your skill level, complete a 360 review, establish goals, and set the flexible schedule to meet those goals. For more information on how we may help you, call us at 888-BECAUSE (232-2873) and ask for a Communication Coach.

All original materials in this newsletter are the copyrighted property of TLC, Talk Listen Communicate, LLC. For reprint information, please e-mail a request to tlc@talklisten.com.

TLC: The choice of those who expect to get results from their training, coaching, and facilitation expenditures.

Send your comments, questions and inquiries to info@talklisten.com

TLC, Talk Listen Communicate, LLC
842 South Germantown Road
Chattanooga, TN 37412-1743
Tel: 1-888-232-2873 or 423-622-TALK (8255)
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