June 2004
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LOOKING AHEAD: |
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LOOKING BACK: |
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One man has enthusiasm for 30 minutes, another for 30 days, but it is the man who has it for 30 years who makes a success of his life. |
To fly, we have to have resistance. |
THE EXCHANGE
This issue's featured subject is
Success
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INSIDE
THIS ISSUE: |
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Success: What is It?
Ask five people how they define success and you’ll get five different answers. Just what is this elusive goal that each person seeks?
Some would agree that completion of a challenge is the pinnacle of success. The plan is established, implemented, re-evaluated, and altered. The focus can be intense. The bigger the challenge, the bigger the high is for victory over it. Life can get a little unbalanced. Sometimes the journey is more fun than the completion.
Others need to count success and deposit it in the bank to be satisfied. The world tends to define success in this manner. We tend to want houses bigger than we can afford, drive vehicles that will impress, and join organizations that will be admired by others. The ‘success’ perceived by others may actually keep you awake at night.
A few dear souls realize that challenges and financial attainment do not define their success. They seek happiness, pure and simple. Bucking the system, they find success in the moment.
What is your definition of success? Perhaps your definition should allow for flexibility and the multiple phases of your life. After all, most words have multiple definitions whether you look in Webster, Heritage, or any other reputable dictionary.
To get the most benefit from your success, remember to balance the various successes in your life. There is nothing wrong with wanting a promotion at work, if that is also a measure of success for you, as long as it does not prevent you from spending time with your family. Conflicting successes bring stress, and that can erode the pleasure from the success.
Define what is important to you. Continually work to accomplish those things that make life worthwhile for you. Judge yourself by your definitions of success. When you can do that, you are indeed successful.
“I’m not used to someone having better ideas than I have!”
Executive Coaching Client for Officer of Fortune 100 Company, Name and Company withheld
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If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you’re right. |
My mother said to me, “If you become a soldier, you’ll be a general; if you become a monk, you’ll end up as the Pope.” Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso. |
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Quick Tips: |
Now Available!
In the News: TLC and Primedia Healthcare Co-create New Video
A development team from Primedia Healthcare in Dallas, TX, recently came to TLC’s off-site retreat, Spring Creek Retreat, located in the beautiful Cherokee National Forest. The two companies worked together to create the third joint video this year. How To Treat a Guest will air on the Health and Sciences Television Network. For more information, visit Primedia’s website at www.Primediahealthcare.com.
Let’s say that you are well on your way to achieving success through goal setting. You have created goals that stretch your resources and, if achieved, will deliver new levels of accomplishment. Now that you have a great goal, what do you do at the planning stage?
Recreate. Some plans are best modeled after successful endeavors of the past. You can use approaches that have worked for you before, or you can find out what others have been able to do. Avoid reinventing the wheel by making the same mistakes others have made. Do your due-diligence by talking to others with experience. Here are some sources to consider:
Innovate. Be willing to brainstorm, mindmap, or just sleep on ideas. Make it a part of your routine to purposefully come up with some unusual ideas before you determine their suitability. Be open to the unique ideas that others may not have tried. Doing something unique brands you as an innovator and solution-maker.
Once you have a plan, make sure to “time map” it throughout the process, including post implementation evaluation. Visualize the process from start to finish so that you can identify roadblocks or requirements that were not at first apparent. Then, make sure that you have input and buy-in from the other people whose participation is essential. Schedule the timepoints with all of the participants.
Be flexible with plans and not so flexible with goals and outcomes. You will learn as you go along, so adjust accordingly. Remember to celebrate your success and recognize those who helped you to make it happen!
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Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises. |
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Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal. |
Why not go out on a limb? Isn’t that where the fruit is? |
Success Now
Vincent Ivan Phipps, B.S.
Carl has been stressing himself out because of how little time he’s spending with his wife and two children due to a promotion and increased workload. Carl is envious of Maggie because Maggie is currently not working and has more freedom and no deadlines to meet.
Despite graduating with honors, Maggie is getting frustrated because she is unemployed and is having a tough time finding a job. Maggie is envious of Cindy because Cindy already has her foot in the door of a large, established company.
Cindy is upset because she feels that by accepting an entry-level position in a Fortune 500 company, she is not being paid what she is worth. Also, with a child on the way, she will eventually need more money. Cindy is envious of Raymond because Raymond is his own boss.
Raymond is going to night school, and during the day, running his own business. He is also recently engaged. The stress of a non-stop schedule is getting to him. Raymond is envious of Carl because Carl has the perfect steady life, good job, and a devoted wife and kids.
Are any of the people mentioned above lacking success? It depends on what you look for. Success is relative. There are aspects of each person’s life that could be considered great. Carl advanced his position. Cindy has a job with a premier company and has the opportunity to move up. Maggie has time to re-evaluate her priorities. Raymond has the opportunity to further his education.
It’s good to reflect on past successes. It’s great to plan for what you’d like to accomplish in the future. It’s not so good to look around and compare yourself to others. Rather, focus on the successes you have in your life right now. Remember to appreciate the friends and family that form your support network. Realize the accomplishments you have now, and share your valuable time and insights with loved ones. That may be just the boost you need to reach higher levels of success!
Sitting on top of the world, is perhaps the best expression we have on the glorious feeling of accomplishment and success! This saying is commonly used to express the elation that comes when something has been achieved. How does sitting on top of the world relate to success?
Imagine you’ve climbed the highest mountain. You’ve prevailed over the treacheries of altitudes, extreme exhaustion, perilous near-fatal falls, and the most rigorous of both mental and physical endurance! And after you’ve bested that mountain, imagine the exhilarating feeling of planting your flagpole on the top of that mountain and looking down on all you persevered through. You are sitting on top of the world.
Someone once said, “What can be conceived, can be achieved.” External success that others can see begins with an attitude of internal success that only you can see. Overcome whatever obstacles are in your way by rising up and climbing to the top. When you do, you will feel as if you are sitting on top of the world.
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Remember to... |
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Some people dream of success... while others wake up and work hard at it. |
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How do you measure success? |
Self Confidence: It's All in the Name
According to the American Heritage Dictionary, confidence is, “A feeling of assurance or certainty, especially concerning oneself.” Consider that it is not something that someone can give you; rather, you give it to yourself. Likewise, no one can take it from you without your consent. First things first: How do you get it?
Self-confidence is a gift you give yourself. Sure, you can wait until you learn it by succeeding at something and then rewarding yourself with a boost of increased confidence. The trouble is, you need it now, before you succeed. One clear way to get there is to state what you want as though you already have it. You can say, “I increase my sales by 20% in June.” Say it a hundred times a day. Write it down. Visualize the success. Pretty soon you’ll start to believe it; you’ll get that feeling of assurance. Abraham Lincoln once said, “Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing.”
How do you keep people from taking your self-confidence away from you? Stop giving them so much power! What do they know? They’re just sharing their opinion and they could be wrong. When Debbi Fields wanted to start a business making cookies, she was advised that, “A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say that America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make.” If Mrs. Fields had given that person’s opinion more power and influence than her own opinion, many stopovers at various airports would be less palatable.
Thirty publishers turned down authors Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen, of the Chicken Soup series. More than two-dozen knowledgeable people all shared the same wrong opinion. When a potential confidence thief comes around you, discredit their negativity by stating a positive action over and over until the negative thought evaporates. You can say, “Succeed,” shouting it inside your own mind.
Confidence is an incredible concept you can create and then protect from intruders. We have insurance to protect our valuables. What insurance do you have to protect your greatest asset, your confidence?
I Change Lives!
Ben Cairns, M.A.
I was in an executive’s office recently and was introduced to an executive from another department who was just passing through. He was distracted by some papers he was handling, and only partly paying attention to me when he asked me what I did for a living. I began to tell him about the presentations, workshops, meeting facilitation, and coaching that we provide. He was not listening to me at all.
The conversation was going nowhere, fast. “I change lives!” I blurted out. It was a succinct summary of what I do for people, and I thought it might be more relevant to him. It was. He stopped what he was doing and looked up at me with surprise. “I need some of that! Now, what is it that you do again?”
That small experience taught me something that I knew all along and need to practice more frequently. People are listening for things that they need, and they don’t care about the irrelevant details. They might be important details to you, but unless they are important to the other person, they are truly not important.
Leave out the details. Think about what others want and need, and deliver that small present to them. You’ll save time, make friends, and win customers. Most of us (yes, me too!) tend to offer too much information that misses the need. Figure out what people need and want. Give them only that and you will enjoy greater success in all of your endeavors!
CEO CORNER: "Fan Clubs"
Beverly Inman-Ebel, MA CCC-SLP
When I think of fan clubs, I envision successful movie and rock stars. Fans are people whom admire something you have done and express that admiration with great exuberance! (Fan is short for fanatic.) I have my very own fan club.
It is a rather small club, headed by my parents, husband, and my best friend. My two boys used to be my biggest fans. It seems my wonderfulness slightly decreased when they became teenagers. (I look forward to regaining them into my club once they have children of their own.)
This month, my fan club went to Dallas to celebrate as I was installed as the National President of the National Association of Women Business Owners (NAWBO). Since I have been attending these annual conventions, I do not recall any other past president bringing an entourage of fans with her. I admit, I am very happy to be so supported by those that hold me dear.
My parents, especially, are telling everyone who will listen what great accomplishments their daughter has achieved. I want to tell them this is not such a big deal. I was at the right place at the right time and I donated a lot of my time and talent to this organization. Yet, I do not tell them. Not because of my ego, rather because of their enjoyment.
When success comes, however big or small, remember to celebrate with your fan club. Do not make it smaller because you are uncomfortable with the change that it will bring. Face it: success does change a person. Instead of fighting that, focus on changing for the good. Come through the success a better person, one that can help others and make your fan club proud. While it is important to honor your past – your roots, remember to celebrate the present with those that mean the world to you, and work to create a better future.
My Aunt Jean was in my fan club. I wrote down some of my thoughts and memories of her in a card that was read to her by her son, just a few days before she died. What about you? Who is in your fan club? Have you written any fan mail lately? There is no better time than today.
Reach for success. Acknowledge it when it arrives. Celebrate with your fans. Truly live your dreams.
Dear TLC,
I have applied several times for a promotion within my company. No luck, yet I am told that I am valuable. I don’t feel valuable.
Looked Over
Dear Looked Over,
Ask for an exit interview. After the decision has been made, ask the decision makers for feedback on how you can improve your positioning for the next time. Be sure that this request and interview are free of your emotions. Prepare questions that will give you valuable information, such as, “What are some things I can do to improve my experience?”
Featured Service: Executive Coaching
Summer is a great time for individual coaching. While others are dreaming of being on the golf course, you can increase your skills as a leader. The TLC process is to evaluate your skill level, complete a 360 review, establish goals, and set the flexible schedule to meet those goals. For more information on how we may help you, call us at 888-BECAUSE (232-2873) and ask for a Communication Coach.
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TLC establishes long-term relationships with our clients. If we have helped you or if you believe our approach to change would work for someone you know, please communicate with us by e-mail tlc@talklisten.com or phone 1-888-232-2873. We work with individuals and groups on the following subject areas: attitude, listening, body language, voice, leadership, compliments and corrections, behavioral style, teamwork, effective meetings, public speaking, accent reduction and much more!. |
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