Inside This Issue
- Testing the Value of Activities
- What Our Clients Are Saying
- Give Someone a Living Eulogy!
- Happy Birthday!
- Featured Service: Meetings That Matter
- Loose At Both Ends
- Remembering That In Conversations, Listening Is Important
- Ask The Experts
- CEO Corner: "The Dash is the Important Stuff"
Testing the Value of Activities
There is so much to do and such little time to do it. The typical work day has most of us scrambling with the urgent matters, sometimes without regard to what is truly important. Urgency relates to deadlines and time issues. Importance relates to value of the activity.
Here at TLC, we suggest the following as a guide:
1. If this were my last day on earth, I would spend time doing this today. Obviously these are very valuable to you and need to be in your life on a regular basis, although not necessarily every day. Because we think we will have time to do them later, many people put them off until sometimes it is too late. Plan ahead and ensure that these activities are woven into your week.
2. Taking action on this today will make a big difference in someone’s life. The life that you influence could be your own, a co-worker, someone in another department, a customer, family member, or a friend. These activities do not necessarily have to be time-consuming. Writing a few sentences in a card or sending an encouraging email could make the difference in someone’s day. Is it urgent? Not to you. It could be perfectly timed for the person who receives the activity.
3. Taking action on this today will decrease my stress. These activities need to be scheduled into your calendar today. Remember that you do not need to complete them; that may be too daunting a task. Rather, begin today or continue today. The tortoise won the race by consistently taking one small step at a time. The relinquished stress can give you a burst of energy that may even surprise you.
4. Taking action on this today will feel good and make me feel I am ahead of the game. These are the activities that we schedule when we have a slightly lighter load. It is especially important to begin, however small, on large projects that seem overwhelming at first. Put them into your calendar or they will be overlooked when more urgent and yet less important activities present themselves.
5. Taking action on this today will be interesting and feed new ideas. These activities are perfect to do when you have unexpected down time. Perhaps a meeting was canceled at the last minute. Rather than automatically going to your next to-do item, spend this free time to feed your creativity. In order to take advantage of this, have a special place to put these action items such as a candy dish. You’ll find out how sweet it is to be able to accomplish the unexpected.
What Our Clients Are Saying
“All of the [Season Tickets] classes interrelate - each class’ information and techniques help with the next class.”
David Barker, Dunlap TN
“THANK YOU for coming to our retreat to discuss realities of life in the workplace. I am integrating your teachings into my professional pursuit. [You] helped me learn a great deal about people and work ethics.”
Barry Tinsley, Atlanta GA
Give Someone a Living Eulogy!
Vincent Ivan Phipps, B.S.
Have you ever given a eulogy? What do you think will be said about you when you pass on?
On September 11, 2005, I broke my neck in a near fatal car wreck. I scared a lot of people, including myself. One of the scariest thoughts was, "What will be said about me?" Fortunately I did not have to think about it long because I was given a "living eulogy."
My closest family and friends (and some even not so close) came to my home and celebrated my survival. I was reminded of how much I meant to so many. Several little things I did that seemed trivial to me meant so much to others. Among other comments, I was told, "You have the most contagious smile and laughter!" and, "You never let me stay sad for too long."
Whether by blessing, luck, or mere good fortune, I made it! And, I’ve learned from such a close brush with death. The theme of this edition of The Exchange is "Remembering What’s Important." Don’t wait until someone gets really sick or dies to give them their eulogy. Would you agree that a five-minute speech and a couple of paragraphs in a newspaper are miniscule when compared to the roles the important people play in your life?
To remind the special people in our lives of what they mean to us:
- Hug your grandparents.
- Congratulate your kids for just being curious.
- Thank those who raised you for not giving up on you.
- Take an extra vacation day to just walk around handing out pieces of chocolate!
The bottom line is that it does not matter how you do it, or even exactly when you do it. What matters most is that you do it while those you are doing it for can appreciate it. I challenge you to remember what’s important and give someone a living eulogy. Lead by example!
Happy Birthday!
A very happy belated birthday to our clients whose birthdays were in February and March:
February:
- Johanna Renee Baum
- Boyce Williams
- Terry Nolan
- Marty Miller
- Eleanor Cooper
- Dana Dial
- Lucia Yates
- Connie McClain
- Jeff Goebler
- John Ridley
- Amanda Pearl
- Keith Henry
- Nancy Long
- Dave Kanoy
- Festus Akindele
- Sheri Amante
- Erica Jizmejian
- Glenn Berry
- Candice Dettloff
- Brett Williams
- Ashlee Pitzl
March:
Featured Service: Meetings That Matter
Even with an agenda, have you ever been in a meeting that either got off topic or a topic was discussed into the ground without resolution? A meeting facilitator is the answer!
TLC not only facilitates meetings for its clients, TLC can teach your organization how to do the facilitation in-house.
- The meeting is called in advance with timely notification and requests for agenda topics.
- The final agenda is distributed well before the meeting so attendees have preparation time (including time to think about questions and comments).
- The first order of business is the establishment of basic ground rules with consensus agreement.
- A facilitator is chosen whose sole purpose is to keep the group on task within pre-established time blocks per topic.
- The meeting adjourns on time.
- Minutes of the meeting are distributed within a short period of time and follow-through is reinforced.
Once you have experienced a facilitated meeting, you will never again want to attend one that is not to be facilitated. With a little practice, facilitation is easy – just about anyone can learn to do it. TLC can provide the information and practice it takes for you and your organization to remember what’s important in your next meeting! Call us today to set up this featured and invaluable training.
Loose At Both Ends
Studies have shown that almost 60% of the American population prefers a routine. Most people are not comfortable with something breaking their regular schedule. Some people have no idea what new challenges they will face at the dawn of each new day and may spend their day running around "loose at both ends."
This idiom’s origin lies in nautical terminology. To secure boats in a harbor, the vessels had to have one end of a rope securely tied to the boat and the other end tied to the dock. As you can imagine, it did not matter how tightly one end was tied if the other end was loose. If both ends were loose, the boat could float away, disappearing into the ocean.
How often do you feel like you are on a boat that is without control or guidance? For most people who are juggling the responsibilities of a job, family, relationships with co-workers and friends, community projects, and taking care of their home, feeling "loose at both ends" comes easily.
To learn how to prioritize your tasks, be sure to read the lead article in this issue of The Exchange. Still feel like you’re drifting? Call TLC today and set up an appointment with a Communication Coach who can help you tie up your loose ends through our personalized coaching.
Remembering That In Conversations, Listening Is Important
When communication matters, most people spend a reasonable amount of time thinking through what they will say. They tend to gather the facts and organize them into a meaningful message. The problem is that both people are doing that without proper attention to listening to the other person. In that case, two people are prepared to talk and usually begin with their agendas in mind.
The more important the conversation, the more important it is to be willing to listen. Instead of planning what you will say, plan what you will ask. Place questions at the beginning of your conversation. Questions that begin with "what" and "how" work well to open up people. Of course, some questions cannot be planned in advance and will require you to first listen to the answers of the original questions.
Look at it this way: you already know what you think and know, so there is a tremendous value to understanding what the other person thinks and knows.
Once you ask a question, focus on the person giving the answer. If you are conversing with them in person, make sure you give them eye contact. If the conversation is over the phone, rule out your own distractions. This is not the time to multi-task. Have paper and pen in front of you and jot down any interrupting thoughts that come to your mind. Make sure you are making neutral comments such as "uh-huh" so they know you are still connected. Otherwise, their responses will be shortened or you may hear, "are you still there?"
Even when you want to make a comment or ask the next question, pause one to three seconds before talking. This sends a clear message that you were listening and are now taking the time to compose your next thought.
Summarize what the other person said using your own words to ensure that you have reached understanding. If you merely repeat what they said, you are only confirming reception rather than true understanding. By restating what it meant to you, you will get instant feedback and know that you are on track.
At TLC, we often say that listening makes you smarter. Listen first so that your conversation lasts.
Ask The Experts
Dear TLC,
I work about 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. I have four kids, a wife, two cars, a house, and I think 3 dogs (I go home so seldom, I’ve only been told we bought another one!). My family says I work too much. I tell them it’s because there is so much to pay for. They say they’d rather have me than the stuff. How do I give my family my attention when I’m too busy working to support them?
-Holding on But Slipping
Dear Holding,
I am glad you found the time to write us! On the seventh day (after you’ve had a good nap), have a family meeting. Bring the third dog too. Have an open discussion of what’s required and what’s expected. Allow everyone to voice opinions. Discuss options that can appease everyone. A possible solution might be having a family day once a month. Use some of your overdue and unused vacation time and plan ahead.
CEO Corner: "The Dash is the Important Stuff"
Beverly Inman-Ebel, MA CCC-SLP
Erma Bombeck’s husband is credited with saying that tombstones usually give the date we enter this world and the date we exit; however, it is the dash that is important. It is what we do with the time we are allotted that matters.
So what is in your dash so far? Here is part of my dash, and reading it may help you to think about yours.
May 16, 1951 –
- At 18 months old, I learned that sometimes you just have to pick yourself up, because no matter how much you cry when you fall down, it is just faster if you stand on your own two feet.
- At four years, I learned that throwing rocks at bigger kids on the playground is stupid and it hurts.
- In first grade, I learned that a wise teacher and mentor could change my naughty behavior of tripping a bully in the classroom by telling me what a kind girl I was and that she knew I would never do that again. Kindness is catching.
- In third grade I learned that bragging that I could do daredevil stunts on my bike better than the boys in the neighborhood was humbling when I wrecked. Do what you can do and let others brag on you.
- During my elementary years I learned to watch adults because they gave signs about their true feelings that were more accurate than their words.
- In seventh grade I learned that stuffing my bra with Kleenex on non-gym days was not necessary or advisable.
- In the ninth grade I learned that having freckles was okay. I did not have to necessarily like something about myself to accept it and live my life more freely.
- The summer after high school graduation I learned that life changes and to build memories as I took different paths.
- That same summer I learned that life is not always fair when my neighbor and earlier sweetheart was killed as a passenger in an automobile accident.
- In college I learned to care less about what others thought of me and to care more about what I thought of myself.
- In my mid-twenties I learned it is sometimes necessary to jump off of pedestals that others place you on.
- In my late twenties, I learned to embrace life and explore new possibilities.
- In my early thirties, I found unconditional love as I looked upon the faces of my newborn children.
- In my mid-thirties I learned that my parents were pretty smart again.
- By my late thirties I recognized the value of turning dreams into accomplishments.
- By my early forties I realized that relationships are everything.
- By my mid-forties I came to the conclusion that the journey is more important than accomplishing the goal.
- By my late forties I learned to let go, choose my battles, and accept that the world did not revolve around them.
- By fifty I realized that my IQ had diminished as my teenagers’ IQs went up.
- Soon after, I learned I could smile and accept that.
- And now, I have truly learned that my dash, however long or short it may be, is filled with joys and challenges, and I would have it no other way.
Remember, today is part of your dash. Make the most of it. Live your dreams!
For a thoughtful poem on "The Dash," see page 102 of Beyond the Poems, by Vincent Phipps.
TLC establishes long-term relationships with our clients. If we have helped you or if you believe our approach to change would work for someone you know, please request a proposal or phone 1-888-232-2873. We work with individuals and groups on the following subject areas: attitude, listening, body language, voice, leadership, compliments and corrections, behavioral style, teamwork, effective meetings, public speaking, accent reduction and much more!.
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