Inside This Issue
- Getting Off To A Good Start
- What Our Clients Are Saying
- Tips on Negotiations without Hesitations
- Moves and Counters
- Dear TLC,
- The Peace Pipe
- Happy Birthday
- TLC Comes to Marietta/Atlanta
- CEO Corner
Getting Off To A Good Start
In most business negotiations, you will likely negotiate with the same people many times. This is referred to as strategic negotiations because it is important to realize that the negotiation is only a part of the whole. It is very important to get off to a good start.
That good start begins long before you ever meet with the others. Talk positively to yourself to ensure that you are at your best. If a negative or limiting thought comes to mind, replace it with a positive verb and use it as a command. An example could be, “Convince”. You may need to repeat it several times.
You may never feel prepared enough, depending upon your behavioral style. Make your list of requirements and make sure you understand the reason they are needed. Right before you meet, remind yourself of your preparation and the key points.
When you do walk in the room, make sure you give direct eye contact and give a firm handshake. Your team should spread out and not all sit on one side of the table. This increases what you can observe and decreases the “us vs. them” perception. If you are by yourself, take a corner chair if it is available. This affords visibility without seeming like you are trying to take charge.
Remember the few don’ts. Don’t make the first concession. Don’t say yes too quickly. Don’t sacrifice the quality of the deal just to close it.
Make sure that getting off to a good start is on the agenda from the very beginning. Successful negotiations depend upon it.
What Our Clients Are Saying
The benefits of the TLC leadership training for BMPT have been priceless. There are many different leadership programs available, but TLC customizes and takes it to the next level as demonstrated in the detailed analysis of the DISC profile. The DISC profile not only reiterated the differences between individuals, but made you stop and think about how you needed to adapt your listening or communication style to others. Usually other profiles go through the differences as a general awareness tool, but it was extremely helpful to go into more detail of the communication needs with each personality. As I’ve approached different situations or communication with individuals, it has been helpful to stop and think about what would work best for that specific individual first. Going through the DISC profile together as a management team has been invaluable, as well. Recognizing each other’s strengths and communication needs has been beneficial and very positive as we have communicated and worked through different projects or issues.
Tresa Vaudreuil
Tips on Negotiations without Hesitations
Vincent Ivan Phipps
Forty percent of us want to avoid confrontation. Where do you fall? Do you like to mix it up in a good debate? Do you enjoy the haggle over a deal? Do you anticipate a heated discussion sharing or defending your position?
Regardless of the topic, a debate, discussion, and even a sales pitch are all forms of negotiations. The days of all the negotiations handled only by the corporate “big wigs” are over. As the speed of business increases, more decision-makers are giving subordinates authority to expedite the closing of deals.
For those of us who thrive on the adrenaline rush of “wheeling and dealing,” yeah! But what about those of us who hesitate to negotiate?
Whether you are a master negotiator (or at least think you are), or you have reservations about negotiations, here are some effective tips on how to improve your negotiation skills:
- Listen: Understand what the other side wants. Ask questions to gain their perspective. Ask them what would make them happy.
- Align: Don’t offer too much or too little. Match what you can do with what they are asking. Avoid pitching a sports car if they want a mini-van.
- Confirm: Tell them with information what you can do. Use company policy, dates, times, and amounts as your support system. Speak in measurable terms and avoid vague words such as expensive, ASAP, or better.
Every negotiation will be different. They do not have to be painful. Be clear and flexible to meet the needs. Remember what Mark Twain said about hesitation,
“Even if you are on the right track, if you just sit there, you’ll still get run over.”
Regardless of your current level of negotiation skills, you can always improve. If you’d like to improve, the negotiation experts at TLC can help. Call us at 423-622-TALK. Don’t hesitate; negotiate!
Moves and Counters
A “Move” in the world of negotiations is an advance that one party makes towards the other. A “Counter” is the return action. Moves have the reputation of being bad, yet some are actually helpful. We’ve taken the top three moves and corresponding counters in the good and bad columns to build your recognition of these actions.
Bad Moves:
The Squeeze. This is where someone feigns great surprise at an offer that you make in the hopes that you will immediately reduce your expectations. Dropping a pen, jerking the posture, or using rapid and negative facial expressions can falsely portray this surprise. The counter to use is to ask what they were expecting rather than to automatically adjust your offer.
Decoy. Someone brings up a new objection near the end of the negotiation hoping to buy time or complicate the discussions over something they really don’t want or need in the first place. Usually after you make a concession, they will concede the decoy because it was not real in the first place. The counter is to get all expectations listed in the beginning of the negotiations and except no additions later.
By The Way. At the end of a negotiation, one party will casually add an additional request that they really do want. This is much like a car dealer asking you if you want your new car to be undercoated to protect your investment. The counter is to also ask for something else in return. This will usually bring the negotiation to closure without the additional add-ons.
Acceptable Moves:
Higher Authority. This is where a person states that the final decision needs to be made by a higher authority. This, of course, stalls the negotiation, yet the final result may still be positive. The counter is to determine at the beginning that the right people are at the table.
Pacifier. This is when a hot topic is brought up early in the discussion and the other party immediately ensures all that there is no big problem. Later when others may think everything is okay, the topic comes up again and now it is a big deal because it was not handled earlier. (It’s like giving an infant a pacifier instead of feeding him. The results are not lasting.) The counter is to confirm the first time the topic is mentioned, exactly when and how it will be handled.
Feel. Felt. Found. To overcome objections, the person will tell you she knows how you feel and that others have felt the same way, but they found… It is rather harmless. The counter to use is to verify information by asking specific questions.
It is not necessary, or even advised, to use moves. It can be important to recognize them and to know how to counter. Now you know. Now go and negotiate!
Dear TLC,
My sales are low this month. I love to negotiate but feel as if I’m losing my touch. Lately I am not meeting my clients needs and I’ve lost three big sales in the last quarter and I’m still doing the same things I was doing that earned me the top salesperson in our division last year. What’s wrong with me?
Signed
Setting Sales
Dear Setting,
What was successful a year ago might not be the same as what can make you successful today. As for the 3 sales lost, let them go. Focus on what you can do to improve on the forth. Ask team members what you do well. Go to the prospects you solicited and ask them what were the determining factors that led them to their choice. Confidence is huge in sales. Sounds like you need a boost. Read past letters or revisit former clients who love you. As salesperson of the year, you probably have two or three you can think of immediately! Listen to what made them choose you. Use that energy boost to propel you to believe in yourself and your confidence will be seen through others.
The Peace Pipe
Therese Padgett
As we talk about the art of negotiation this month, I would like to reflect upon the American Indian tradition of the Peace Pipe Ceremony. It has much to teach us about communication.
The ceremony takes place in a circle, symbolic of unity and the cyclical nature of life. The pipe bowl is filled reverently and methodically. In turn, each of the four directions is faced and spirits (or blessings) of that direction are acclaimed and thanked. A small amount of tobacco is dropped, first on the ground to give back to its source, and then into the pipe at each direction. After the four directions are thus honored, the pipe is turned to face downward to Mother Earth, and finally straight upward to Father Sky. The pipe, so filled, is then placed into the ground using the hatchet built into the bottom of the bowl to keep it upright. It rests there until the remainder of whatever ceremony is taking place has concluded, and it is then lighted and smoked, in turn, by all in the circle.
The filling of the peace pipe is a time of preparation. It is a time of centering on the meaning of life and a time of separating from what is not meaningful in life. The burying of the hatchet may be seen as burying all that is not meaningful. What is left is truth and respect.
How would your negotiations become different if they were all preceded by such preparations?
The smoking of the Peace Pipe is like a seal that authenticates the spirit of negotiations. The smoke from the pipe represents the participants' visible breath and stands for truth: truthful words, truthful actions, and a truthful spirit. *
How would your negotiations be different if all parties knew that the negotiations would conclude with the smoking of the Peace Pipe, symbolic of the fact that you have spoken the truth and that you promise to act henceforth in the spirit of truth?
If you would like more information about the Peace Pipe Ceremony, please visit the following web site: * http://www.think-aboutit.com/native/peace_pipe_ceremony.htm
If you would like to become a better negotiator, call the communication experts at TLC, 423-622-8255, or visit our website at www.talklisten.com.
Happy Birthday
TLC wishes the following clients a Happy September Birthday!
- Jennifer Berkhoudt
- Christine Dennis
- Catherine Vreeland
- Tyler Bransfield
- Donald Huffman
- Sibby Tansill
- Joe Side
- Lamar Carver
- Gregory Park
- Karen Webb
- Gary Busby
- Harvey Pearman
- Petra Francis
- Lori Meredith
- Niecee Andrews
- Jed Ravenholt
- Karen Savage
- Brian Blust
- Steve Barbour
- Carey Ely
- Patricia Skeete
TLC Comes to Marietta/Atlanta
Leaders Listen
WHAT: Interactive Workshop on Improving Listening Skills!
WHEN: October 17, 2007
WHERE: Knowledge Shop (Marietta, GA)
180 Cobb Parkway SE, #C-24
TIME: 1:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m.
COST: 3 for Free! *Any 3 people from your office
CONTACT: 1-888-BECAUSE or TLC@talklisten.com
Limited Seating. Reserve by October 11th, 3 p.m.
*Offer based on attendance of decision-maker or meeting with decision - maker scheduled prior to attendance.
TLC is a relationship building resource to companies. Our seminars, coaching, facilitation and keynotes are designed to positively change the ways in which key employees relate to customers, vendors, management, and co-workers, reducing the high costs of miscommunication.
Vincent Ivan Phipps (B.S. Communication), TLC’s Senior Communication Consultant, will present an interactive workshop that will keep you laughing, listening, and learning! He once received a standing ovation while performing on stage with Tony Robbins in front of 14,000 people! Considered the V.I.P. of motivational speaking, Vincent’s presentation philosophy is, “If I can get you to laugh, I can help you listen. If I can get you to listen, I can help you change.”
Overview: We spend 40% of our days listening. Whether negotiating, sales, public relations, information systems/technology, human resources, finance, real estate, etc., your ability to listen can determine the success of each interaction. So what are you doing to improve?
Participants will learn how to:
- Recognize which of the 3 levels of listening you focus on the most.
- Confirm agreement to prevent misunderstandings to increase efficiency.
- Ask the questions getting the results you want by following the TLC guidelines of questions.
- Determine how well you listen for verbal vs nonverbal information by taking a listening test!
- Develop balanced judgment by learning how to gain more information to ensure understanding.
Plan to attend by calling for your reservations now, 1-888-BECAUSE!
CEO Corner
Beverly Inman-Ebel
Leave a Little Wiggle Room
I agree with Vincent that we negotiate every day with our co-workers, customers, bosses, family and friends. I have been involved in numerous formal negotiations where everyone at the table realized that we were there to negotiate. My role has usually been one as a guide for my clients. Based upon this experience, I have some opinions as to what can make or break a deal.
Be prepared. Never under-estimate the available options. I have found that when people are not prepared, they tend to rely more on emotion than facts. That makes sense since they did not come prepared with the facts. So do your homework. Heck, do their homework. Your preparation is full circle.
Know what you want, what you have to have, and the difference between the two. I recently mediated a dispute for a client. One party had a long list of wants. When I asked what they were willing to give up, they gave me a "deer in the headlights" stare. Seldom will you get it all. Think it through before you get there. That way you can appear to be flexible and still remain within your larger plan.
Never narrow it down to one issue. Bring up that issue early in the conversation to explore where people stand on it. At the beginning, people are aware there is give and take. If you wait until the end, perhaps they feel they have given enough. Like most things that involve communication, negotiations require proper timing.
Leave emotions out of the picture. Just last month I was listening to a person whose sole purpose was to punish the other party. Requesting a letter of apology may be reasonable. Dictating what that letter will say is likely going overboard.
All of these observations have to do with wiggle room. I just returned from out of state where I visited my newborn twin niece and nephew. They sure did wiggle a lot. Since we start out so flexible, it would be good for us to retain the ability to move, to see the other person’s side, or at least be willing to listen to it while striving to understand. Don’t be so tight in a negotiation. Leave room for a wiggle. Prepare. Listen. Solve. Wiggle. Live your dreams!
TLC establishes long-term relationships with our clients. If we have helped you or if you believe our approach to change would work for someone you know, please request a proposal or phone 1-888-232-2873. We work with individuals and groups on the following subject areas: attitude, listening, body language, voice, leadership, compliments and corrections, behavioral style, teamwork, effective meetings, public speaking, accent reduction and much more!.
All original materials in this newsletter are the copyrighted property of TLC, Talk Listen Communicate, LLC. For reprint information, please e-mail a request to tlc@talklisten.com.


